Bibimbap!

I have a kimchi problem. As in, I can't stop eating it. I discovered Korean food earlier this year and it has quickly become one of my favorite types of cuisine. Greg and I love to go get Korean bbq. It's not cheap, but cooking the meat yourself elevates it from a meal to an experience. And don't get me started on banchan!

Replicating a true Korean bbq experience at home isn't very feasible, so on my first attempt to cook Korean I went with another favorite: bibimbap. Put simply, bibimbap is "mixed rice" - some rice with veggies and also some meat if you choose. If you order this in a restaurant it's typically served in a hot stone bowl with a raw egg. When you mix it together, the egg gets cooked and the rice gets over so slightly crispy on the bottom. I've had it in a regular non-heated bowl too and that's what we're going with here for simplicity and safety's sake.

I make no claim as to how authentic this recipe is (probably not very since I made it up on the fly), but here is the method I used. It's a lot of prep since everything needs to be chopped and cooked separately, but the end result is healthy, delicious and - most importantly - an excellent kimchi delivery system! You will need (or at least want) the following ingredients, though you can play fast and loose with the type of veggies you use. Some julienned zucchini would be an excellent addition, and bean sprouts are traditional as well.

Ingredients:

1 lb ribeye, chicken breast or a couple packs of tofu.

1 carrot

1 cucumber

spinach

garlic

mushrooms of your choice

green onions

kimchi

gochujang (preferably - it's delicious) or sriracha (since you already have it, don't you?)

white rice

eggs

Optional ingredients:

cooking sake

ginger
rice vinegar

sesame seeds
sesame oil

Step 1: Marinate meat

Ideally you are reading this the day before you plan to make it. That's good, because I really recommend marinating your meat overnight if at all possible. If not, give it at least a few solid hours. I used skirt steak and unfortunately it ended up chewier than I would have liked. I bought it before I really had plans for what to do with it, and I also forgot that last time I used skirt steak for something I sliced it through the cross-section (before also cutting across the grain) and beat the hell out of it with a tenderizer. Go ahead and spend a bit more to get ribeye. I've heard that a good trick is to partially freeze it to make it easier to slice. Alternatively, you can use chicken or tofu.

Put your meat strips (mmm...meat strips) or tofu in a large ziplock and add your marinade. I used brown sugar, sake, soy, sriracha, some olive oil, freshly chopped garlic and the white bulbs of some green onion. A little rice vinegar in there would be great too, but I didn't purchase any until the next day.

Step 2: Start your rice

I like to make my rice a little early so that it has time to sit. You'll want a few cups. Notice I'm not putting amounts, but let's say this feeds about 5 people, or 2 with leftovers to spare. Plan your rice amounts accordingly. I like to add fresh chopped ginger to my boiling water, but that's up to you.

Step 3: Do your prep

This is the time consuming part. Slice, chop and julienne all of your vegetables. Peel your cucumber and slice thinly. Peel your carrot, discard the outer skin then continue to peel it into long strips. Chop your garlic and green onions. Slice your mushrooms. Toast your sesame seeds. You get my drift. Hey, speaking of mushrooms, I used these:

Aren't they adorable?!

They are called bunapis. They're similar to enokis but thicker. Full disclosure: I bought these because they are totally precious. They are very mild though, so while they are great for presentation, feel free to go with shitakes if you want a more robust mushroom flavor.

A quick tip: as I prep, I like to put each individual ingredient in a leftover takeout tupperware container. It keeps things neat and makes it easy to grab what you need. By the way, if you have rice vinegar, add a drizzle to the container with the carrots in it and let that sit for a couple of minutes.

Step 4: Cook your veggies

This is actually several steps. I used the same pan, rinsing and wiping it out when needed (for example, after the carrots so that I wouldn't turn my mushrooms orange) then returning the items to their tupperware containers as I cooked them. This makes plating easy, and the leftovers are all ready to be packed up once you're done with your meal.

-Saute your carrot strips for a few minutes, adding a pinch of salt. You want them to be crisp but not raw. They will turn brighter in color and soften just a bit.

-Saute mushrooms and garlic together in a bit of oil. If you're using bunapis or enokis be careful not to overcook them - you want them to retain their cute shape.

-Saute spinach until wilted. Drizzle with sesame oil if you have it and add a pinch of salt.

Step 5: Cook your meat

Dump it in a super hot pan along with the marinade from the bag and cook until done. If you are using beef, let it stay a bit rare. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.

Step 6: Fry up an overeasy egg

I used a small pan over low/medium heat, melted a pat of butter, cracked the egg then covered it with a top the last minute or so of cooking to help it along. You want to make sure not to disturb the yolk, and to leave the yolk runny as that is a key component.  You can also poach the egg if you're fancy, just make sure not to overcook it. Technically the egg is optional but not how I make it.

Step 7: Plating

One thing I enjoy about bibimbap is the gorgeous presentation, so don't skimp here. You want to plate each component seperately on top, with complimentary colors next to each other.

-Dish a half cup of rice into the bottom of a bowl, then add each component. Going around the bowl, I did: meat, cucumbers, kimchi, mushrooms, spinach, carrots, and green onion. Now, I guess the kimchi can be considered optional, but you'll notice that I did not list it as such above. It's so delicious and a key element of Korean food, so even if you are skeptical I suggest you at least try it.

-Top with your fried egg and a generous dollop of gochujang or drizzle of sriracha then take a moment to admire how pretty it is:

No seriously, look at it!

Step 8: Mix it up and enjoy!

How to eat like a grownup

You know that horrible, heartburn-y feeling that comes from eschewing an actual dinner in favor of some chips and half a bag of Lindor truffles? It's the sort of empty, unsatisfied malaise that comes from eating a bunch of calories, but nothing with actual substance. I was super bad about doing that through my teens and early 20's, but in recent years I've developed a passion for cooking. I love pouring some wine or opening a beer (the booze part is non-negotiable when I'm putting in serious kitchen time),playing some music and getting to work dicing and sautéing.

That said, I recognize that not everyone has the time or inclination to spend a lot of time hovering over a stovetop, including me about 5 days out of the week. The good news is that with a few small tweaks and the right staples in your fridge and pantry, you can start eating like a grown-ass individual with minimal effort and moderate skill.

Step 1: Stock your basics
Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes the basics but they typically include some pasta, grains and canned goods. You'll need some rice (I like to keep basmati, brown and arborio handy) and pasta of various types. I also love the shit out of some couscous and you can't go wrong with lentils. They are super healthy, cheap and filling. Canned vegetables are usually an absolute abomination (aside from corn for some mysterious reason) but feel free to legume-it-up all you please: canned chickpeas and black beans are great staples. I know it's the absolute opposite of fancy, but I adore Rotel - that's canned diced tomatoes and green chilis for the uninitiated - and I always have a few cans at my disposal. Oh , and any cook should have a couple cartons or cans of chicken broth handy, or vegetable broth for my vegetarian buddies out there.

Step 2: Invest in flavorful ingredients with a long shelf life
I'm talking jars of roasted red peppers, capers, olives and marinated artichoke hearts to toss into pasta or throw on top of some chicken breasts. A package of dried porcini mushrooms will add flavor to rice and pasta dishes and broths. A tube of anchovy paste will add a depth of flavor to almost anything (stop making that face and just try it). Various cheeses are included in this category too, for example a tub of crumbled feta and a log of goat cheese. Speaking of cheese, whatever you do, do not forget a good wedge of parmigiano reggiano. It's the single best flavor booster there is and if you use that shit in a can I will disown you. I will double-disown you if you use margarine, so get some quality unsalted butter.

Also make sure you have some sauces and condiments on hand. I like a nice aged balsamic, decent olive oil, some soy sauce and a good dijon mustard. Sriracha too of course! Oh, and if you have access to a store with a good international foods section, try to find the curry paste in the little tin cans and some coconut milk to go with it. Get real crazy with it and pick up some of my other favorites: a jar of kimchi, some Korean black bean or chili paste, cooking sake or mirin, sesame oil…the possibilities are endless in the international section. All of those things can be thrown into a stirfry or used to marinate some chicken or tofu and you'll think you're eating restaurant food. Tahini, a sesame paste used to make hummus, is always a good purchase as well. If you get good at making your own hummus, you'll never buy storebought again, and there are so many variations you can do. Obviously you need some spices too - I could write an entire post on that alone, but for now whatever favorites you have on hand will do. Do make sure to have a peppercorn and seasalt grinder though. When you are ready to invest in spices I recommend Penzey's.

Step 3: Add fresh or frozen protein and veg
Certain items from the produce section, like lemons, onions and garlic have a long shelf life and should always have a home in your fridge. For your other veggies though, you can swing by the store once a week to buy fresh (I love to roast zucchini and eggplant) or keep some in your freezer for optimum laziness. I know it sounds like cheating, but frozen veggies are just as healthy as fresh (sometimes more so as they are frozen at peak freshness). The fresh or freezer option also goes for your protein. I like to keep some fish fillets, chicken breasts and Italian sausage in the freezer but you can always hit the grocery on the way home and buy what you need for that day. If you are vegan or vegetarian you're in luck because both tofu and seitan have a long shelf life. I've never cooked with seitan personally, but I love marinating and pan frying tofu.

Step: 4 Mix it together and put it in your face
Ok, I know it seems like I'm skipping a step, but I'm not. I promise! All you do is take your basic skills, such as how to boil pasta or bake chicken breasts then incorporate items from your pantry, fridge and freezer to come up with some simple, go-to meals. It takes a bit of confidence, but this kind of “recipe-less” cooking is what's going to revolutionize your whole food game. If you don't believe me, just check out some ideas I'm literally coming up with as I type, using the ingredients I've mentioned so far.

-Pasta with goat cheese, Italian sausage, grated parmesan and veggies (I like broccoli or mushrooms)
-Baked fish filets with lemon and capers
-Cous cous with roasted red peppers and feta
-Rice and lentils (add some curry powder if you have it!)
-Stir fry with tofu or chicken, veggies and whatever Asian condiments you have on hand
-Endless chicken breast possibilities including picatta, covered in goat cheese and artichoke hearts or roasted red peppers, marinated in balsamic, coated in dijon then baked, slow cooked in a crock pot with rotel to make shredded chicken tacos...you get the idea.
-Black beans and Rotel over brown rice (Add some avocado to this and it will make your LIFE)
-Hummus
-Various soups

I realize this seems like a lot to take in, and that at first glance it may seem cost prohibitive, but remember that cooking at home will save you money in the long term. It's such a relief to realize you have the ingredients to throw together something simple after a long work day. And it's also pretty handy to realize you have everything you need to whip up a risotto to impress last minute company. Not that that ever happens to me, but it could! Unexpected guests seem to show up a lot in movies and stuff so at some point I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to make an Emergency Risotto.

Here's a handy list of my favorite staples for inspiration. I have all of these things on hand basically at all times, but I'm also an overachiever.

Cheat Sheet
Rice (basmati, brown, arborio)
Pasta (orzo, whole wheat penne, rotini)
Cous cous
Lentils
Canned black beans and chickpeas
Chicken broth (cartons or cans)
Rotel
Roasted red peppers
Capers
Artichoke hearts
Kimchi
Dried porcinis
Anchovy paste
Parmigiano reggiano
Various cheeses: feta/goat
Balsamic
Olive oil
Dijon mustard
Sesame oil
Cooking sake
Mirin
Soy sauce
Sriracha
Black bean paste
Packages of tofu
For freezer: frozen veggies, chicken breasts, Italian sausage, fish fillets

You don't need to build your pantry all at once, just pick up some things you enjoy as you go. It's not about the exact ingredients. It's about grasping the concept of recipe-less cooking and having the confidence to throw stuff together and make your own creations. It's not rocket science but you'll feel like a genius.

gobsmacked

SB1 has me so seething with rage that I can hardly think straight, but I can't let this go without comment here since it is so important and so close to my heart right now. I am limited to communicating in angry snippets, lest my blood pressure go through the roof, so I will leave it to Representative Jessica Farrar and the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists to put eloquently what I am currently unable to.

Rep Farrar's closing comments

Open Letter to Texas Legislators from ACOG

Remember this anger when it comes time to vote. The Texas Legislature is not looking out for your best interests. In their arrogance, they are proclaiming to know more about women's healthcare than medical professionals. They are passing laws that 80% of Texans oppose. They are stubbornly refusing amendments that would reduce the already vast amount of suffering that is in store for the women and children of Texas. They are dooming women to agony and death, and babies with abnormalities to short lives filled with pain. If you identify as pro-life you should still be enraged by the lack of logic and the abuse of power. It's disgusting.

Glamping sounds like a weird sex act

Between my upcoming New Orleans trip in September (for Geri's bachelorette weekend I.E THE BEST WEEKEND OF OUR LIVES) and the unexpected extra time off I took post wisdom teeth extraction, I'm skipping an honest-to-goodness summer vacation this year. As always, I'm finding a way to supplement with mini-roadtrips and long weekends, most recently a girlie camping trip with some of my ladies. We ate like queens, ate rum soaked fruit, floated the river, got weird patchy sunburns, one of us had a series of unreasonably good hair days (glares at Liz) and SOMEONE (cough Brandi cough) showed her entire butt to everyone on the Gaudalupe. Like...for a prolonged period. All in all, it was a goddamn blast and should fulfill my summer fun needs for awhile.

Yes it WAS one hot mother out there, and yes it is hard being this fabulous (photo credit Liz Smith)
 

terrible toof times

I'm sure none of you think getting your wisdom teeth out sounds pleasant, but did you know that it's not only unpleasant but it's actually THE WORST? I had a rogue wisdom tooth on the lower left side that would partially erupt then go back in, repeating this process several times over the years, causing some irritation but nothing bad enough that I couldn't procrastinate. Then a few weeks ago it decided just to...hang out back there and chill, making my life kind of miserable. It was time to do something about it, and since the others were impacted I decided to just yank them all out and have it over with. Most of you have probably already had it done, but if you're dumb and waited until you're almost 30 like me, I have some tips for you.

Get knocked out
 I did the IV sedation and couldn't be happier with my choice. The recovery is shitty enough - there's no need to be aware of them spending an hour yanking teeth out of your noggin. Trust me on this. We have the technology. Get whatever drugs they will give you. Last thing I remember is the dental assistants morphing into characters from Where the Wild Things Are. Then I woke up and we were done. Bonus: the drugs have some fun after effects. I was, to put it plainly, high as shit. I drooled a substantial amount of blood onto my dad's driveway but was too stoned to care. In addition to the aforementioned hallucinations, I was just in an altogether good mood. I felt weirdly lovey toward all of my friends who were being super nice even though I know they were thinking I was being a giant baby. A few days later I discovered a beat up toy figurine in my purse. I have no idea where it came from.

Take your drugs
I took my vicodin every 4 hours for the first few days, even setting an alarm in the middle of the night so I didn't miss a dose. This let me stay on top of the pain and I didn't have any pain at the actual extraction sites as a result. I'm now down to a pill in the evenings to deal with the horrible jaw pain I'm having from it being wrenched open for so long. Not everyone will have this problem apparently, but I have a smidgen of TMJ and I think it's made my recovery a lot tougher.


Be prepared for shitiness
This whole process sucks to an extent that I can't thoroughly explain. I have a higher pain threshold thanks to being a woman and a redhead (no really!) but even with the drugs I've had discomfort. I also have numbness in my bottom lip and half of my chin almost a week later, but that should resolve itself once the swelling goes down. The last few days have been more unpleasant in some ways than the days immediately following the surgery, even though I overall feel more like myself. Immediately following the surgery you can expect bleeding and oozing and for your mouth to taste and smell like roadkill. Add to that the constant anxiety about getting dry socket and it makes for a super fun time. I should be out of the woods as far as dry socket, but I can't stress enough to follow aftercare instructions to the letter. Reading some people's account of how it was worse than natural childbirth - well that had me in a near panic in the days leading up to and following the procedure. As a bonus, I'm no longer scared of routine dentist trips because it's all up from here!

You will be starving
I'm having a rougher time than some because I can't open my mouth, but be prepared to stick to liquids for a couple of days and soft foods after that. Since I was paranoid about dry socket I've been very conservative with my food and as a result I've lost 4 pounds. Yikes. This may be a bonus to some but I know I'm losing muscle too and generally feeling unwell so it's not exactly a cause for celebration. Buy Carnation Instant Breakfast shakes because they will save your life.


Anyway, some people bounce back fairly quickly and some have a rougher time than I have, but the bottom line is that I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well actually...maybe I would. It doesn't last forever. Does it? Right?! *cries*

Always, Patsy Cline

As a birthday present Greg got us tickets for Always, Patsy Cline (because he's so sweet) and we finally got to go last night. It was a good show but it really underlined just how flawless and inimitable Patsy's voice was.

I was such a huge fan growing up! Fun fact: When I was 6 or 7 I used to march around my aunt's big circle driveway in Beorne listening to my Walkman. Inside there was always a Patsy Cline tape. Partially because it was the only tape I had but also because I loved it so much.

I was a shy kid but sometimes my dad could coax me to sing "Crazy" or "Walkin' After Midnight" for his friends. This went on until I recorded myself once and discovered that, though I could hit the notes and I had some nice vibrato, I sounded like well, a kid. Ha! This really pissed me off because in my head I sounded just like her.

Anyway, moral of the story is that I love her and her music brings me a lot of fond memories. She has some fun, upbeat numbers and some songs that so perfectly capture the helplessness of heartbreak, a feeling I didn't understand then but of course I do by now. I don't know who wrote all of those songs but I do know that they wouldn't have been the same without that lovely, lovely voice.

2 updates in 1 day? Damn I'm prolific.

I recently realized that this blog consists of 4 main topics: travel, cooking, exercise and feminist issues. Those are basically my main interests right now, so that seems fitting. Soooo to keep on topic, here's a pic of some Indian food I made a couple of weeks ago. It was my first time trying my hand at Indian so I was half expecting it to be a disaster, but I was happy with how things came out and I know what to tweak for next time, specifically halving the chicken breasts before cooking and actually measuring the heavy cream instead of dumping it in.

You're looking at chicken tikka masala, a last minute chana masala for a vegetarian guest, and a homemade raita that is simply greek yogurt with minced carrot, cucumber and a dash of cumin. The chicken tikka was adapted from this recipe. I had done a bit of reading that indicated garam masala should be added at the end of the process to protect the flavor and prevent bitterness, so I recommend doing that.

To make things easier on myself, I made double the sauce and divided half to use for the chana masala.  The half I used for the chicken tikka got pureed in a food processor. The recipe didn't call for that, but the restaurant versions I've had are always smooth and creamy and I wanted to replicate that. The half of the sauce reserved for the chana masala was left chunky and added to some sauteed spinach,chickpeas, garlic and ginger. In place of the traditional amchoor powder I used some lemon juice and also added a dash of yellow curry powder. Had I planned ahead I would have loved to have made saag paneer. That'll be happening soon so stay tuned. Well, assuming I live to post about it as opposed to drowning face-first in a bowl of it. What a way to go!

Can I just name this "Update"?

I'm pleased to report that I am finally, FINALLY feeling like myself again. I'm not the bummed-out mess during the winter that this blog makes me out to be, it's more of just a mild case of the blahs. I'm not down so much as restless and a little, well, blah. I expected things to "click" in March, but Timehop was quick to point out that my Facebook posts from a year ago also consisted of a lot of talk about needing a vacation, specifically a roadtrip or weekend in Vegas. I think this can be partially attributed to the fact that all of the hotels/casinos email bomb me with deals this time of year. I never really noticed it until now. I'm so easily influenced and predictable, jeez!

Thankfully, Greg and I did get away for a daytrip to San Augustine last weekend. There are a lot of historic cemeteries there; it was hard to make a dent. Here's a photo of me looking super goth, except for my bright blue clown shoes.

It was overcast that day, but the weather has been sunny and warm for the most part so I'm back in sundresses and sandals - my favorite state. That alone helps my mood, I swear. I also have a lot of fun events coming up, including shaking my ass off with Jenna, a charity event I'm co-hosting, a friend's backyard crawfish boil wedding (is there another combination of words that could get me that excited? I think not), and a dance performance where I will get to see Travis Wall live and in person! Basically, Spring and Summer are looking fanfuckingtastic.

Give me all your free stuff

So every year Allure magazine does this big free stuff blowout in August. As many of you know, I'm a total product junkie, so I will not pass up the chance to try new products. Send something to me and I will slather myself in it without a second thought. I'm not as serious about sweepstakes as some people - there are whole forums devoted to this stuff - but I managed to get quite a few entries in this time and had my best year yet. All I really do is set Outlook reminders and enter at the top of the hour, every hour each workday. I mostly half-ass it and forget about 50% of them, so imagine my surprise when packages started showing up at my place almost daily. Time to brag, because I raked in the following:

Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream - $20
Garnier Fructis sleek and shine serum spray - $6
Nivea creme - $1
Color Club nail polish in In the Limelight - $8
Cerave lotion - $12
Big Sexy Hair Weatherproof spray (travel size) - $7
Clarin Shaping Facial Lift serum - $70
Zoya polish in Bevin - $8
iS Clinical Active serum - $78
Revlon lip butter in Candy Apple - $7
Sally Hansen polish in Pumice - $8
Maybelline eyeshadow in Turquoise Glass - $4
Wet n Wild Liquid Eyeliner in Turquoise - $3
Covergirl eyeshadows in Platina and Ice Princess - $8
Essie polish in Main Squeeze - $8
Olay Regenerist Advanced Anti-Aging treatment - $22
China Glaze polish in Pink Voltage - $5

That comes to a crazy value of about $275! All for taking the time to click a few buttons. I also won a few items that I thought were from this sweepstakes, but must be from other things so I left them out. Oh and I haven't gotten that Covergirl eyeshadow yet but I plan to nag them relentlessly until I do. Most lady magazines have giveaways going on all the time on their websites so if you have a few minutes, check them out (just make sure to uncheck any boxes for trial subscriptions or newsletters or any junk like that). And if you find out who wins the big stuff like $1000 purses tell them I'm jealous. I want to eBay that shit.

Rapunzel wanna be

This is probably only interesting to like, 3 of you but remember this post from awhile back? The first pic was taken about a year ago and my hair is continuing to grow nicely. It'd be even longer if I got regular trims and didn't wait until I have to chop off half an inch each time (sorry Sean!) I still wish it was fuller and thicker but I'm beginning to accept that I'll be a fine haired lady 'til I die. The biotin is definitely speeding the growth though and I'm pretty happy with how it's looking lately. I've been using a really lightweight shampoo and conditioner to give it body (Umberto Volume) and deep conditioning with argan oil overnight.

I actually took this photo to showoff my new lipcolor (Revlon Lip Butter in Tutti Frutti) but I thought my hair looked nice and decided it'd go well with this post. I wish I was smiling, but I just don't like you. Anyway, the moral of the story is take biotin!

A Facebook Tale in Two Parts

Minutes later...

Eastern Eating Excursions

After a mindblowing bowl of bibambap at Underbelly, I found myself a bit obsessed with expanding my experience with Asian food. I knew that I loved Thai food, liked Vietnamese, and disliked most Americanized Chinese, but had I ever even had Korean food? I realized that my foodie cred was about to suffer big time if I didn't start branching out. A tip from a friend sent me to H Mart, an awesome Asian market and a wonderful place to spend an hour on a Saturday. I wandered the aisles oohing and aaahing like a spaz, apologizing to Greg for my embarrassing enthusiasm. Not only did I pick up the pantry staples I need to make my favorite teriyaki salmon, I got a few odds and ends meant to broaden my cooking horizons, including a big tub of fermented black bean paste.

After researching recipes calling for said black bean paste, I settled on this one for Ma Po Tofu since I had most of the ingredients. Searching online has made it evident that everyone has their own spin on this dish, but there are a few common elements. A key ingredient is Sichuan peppercorns - an ingredient that the recipe I linked to is lacking actually - so I swung by Penzey's, picked some up and ground them as finely as I could. With that addition and a few substitutions, I ended up with a great meal that I was extremely proud of.

This dish is pretty flexible so play around with it using what you have in your pantry. Of the options the recipe provided I used ground beef instead of pork and sake instead of chicken stock. As far as the actual subsitutions, I used fish sauce in place of oyster sauce. While I did have tienmen jang (the fermented black bean paste) I didn't have tobanjan (the spicy chili bean paste) so I just added a hefty dose of sriracha to give it the necessary kick - no need to add any additional bean paste since it was plenty salty already. I suggest mixing the sauce ingredients in a bowl and giving it a taste. There's a lot of salt and umami going on so you're going to want to make sure things are balanced. It might call for a bit more sugar or another splash of sake. I highly recommend adding some ground Sichuan peppercorns since they are a key element in traditional Ma Po tofu and there's no real way to duplicate the numbing type of spiciness that they impart.

I really look forward to playing around some more with these new ingredients, and making it a point to use some already familiar ingredients more often. Did you know that you can peel and freeze fresh ginger, grate what you need then pop it back in the freezer? Lifechanging. I will definitely be making H Mart a semi-regular stop. I'm going to make some crazy seafood you guys. Hold on to your hats.

A Cup of Happiness

I went bra shopping yesterday and good lord, it is nigh impossible to find a-cup bras that aren't padded to hell. I understand it's because the makers assume women with a-cups want their boobs to look bigger - a fair assumption given that swaths of the population are having their perfectly fine breasts sliced open and stuffed with plastic - but where does that leave those of us who are happy with our smaller bust size?

One row had bras with big tags attached, saying something to the effect of "A-Cup: Extra padded B-Cup: Lightly padded and C-Cup: Lightly lined". Presumptuous much? Now, I'm not saying that I never wear a padded or pushup bra. Cleavage is fun (even bras for large busted ladies come that way and if they can avail themselves of that option so can I) and sometimes I need a little help filling out certain dresses since I have to buy them large enough to accommodate my relatively generous hips and butt. I'm completely shameless about admitting that it's part of an illusion though, much like the makeup I carefully apply everyday. For an average, go-to bra all I need is for it to not give me back fat, and to disguise the fact that I'm cold when walking around the office. Hell, I don't even need support! I'm glad pushup bras exist, but it shouldn't be such a struggle to find a-cup bras that aren't. That's all I'm saying.

It's more than presumptuous, it's insulting. As if I must want to change the look of my body parts, that they can't possibly be good enough on their own. Full disclosure: If I would wake up half a cup size fuller, magically, with no ill effects maybe I'd do it. I can't definitively say, but I can't rule it out in this hypothetical scenario. But before you take that as a sign of dissatisfaction, I'd also like a higher eyebrow arch but I'm not about to have a plastic surgeon go to town on my face. I think my curvy bottom would stand out even more without the slight saddlebags beneath it, but I'm not about to get lipo. I want the redder hair of my youth but not badly enough to keep up with dying it and give up my title as a natural redhead. Natural. That's the thing. While I have fun mastering some of the illusions that are so often a part of typical feminine beauty, everyone draws their own line somewhere between effortless and artifice. I certainly don't want larger breasts at the expense of having scars (maybe a bad example...I would undergo an anesthesia-free pinkie toe amputation before I'd get fake tits - it's more than an aesthetic preference but that's a blog post of its own so I'll save you my feminist screed just this once...) and when it comes to bras, the appearance of larger breasts is not worth the awkwardness of my boyfriend trying to cop a feel and grabbing a handful of foam; my "boobs" hung over the dresser at the end of the night. And most of the time I don't want the appearance of bigger ones. Being an a-cup is part of my identify and I enjoy all the perks (sorry! If you don't like that pun though I would also like to apologize for the title of this post) that come with having smaller breasts.

At times when I felt down about myself (mostly in my teens and early 20's) I would lament the fact that I had small breasts, but I think that was more because I felt there was some societal standard of beauty that I should be meeting. Those negative feelings originated from outside, not from within. If I hadn't been internalizing messages about what men supposedly wanted I probably never would have thought twice about my cup size in any other context than how my clothes fit. The beauty of getting older and accepting my body means I don't have to play that game anymore. I just want to look like me, because I like me.

I did eventually find a few worthy purchases, but not without a lot of hunting. My busty friends describe the hells of bra shopping in such a way that I should probably be thankful this is all I have to gripe about. But gripe I will. All I can picture is a younger, less self-assured woman - perhaps a younger version of myself -  coming into a store to buy some damn undergarments and being sent the message that something is wrong with her. This shit is insidious, and I think it's worth discussing.

Oh, fading youth

Yesterday was my 29th birthday. For some reason I've been rounding up all year  - actually I've been saying "I'm almost 30" since I turned 26 - but now I'm really, truly almost 30. The good news is I'm more than ok with that. In the past few years I've read several articles on how women are happier in their 30's due to increased confidence and sense of self. Also for the vain among us (i.e. myself) women apparently reach their peak attractiveness in their 30s as well. Maybe those reasons are why I'm so eager to get there. My 20's have been great, but boy do you do a lot of growing up. And growing up hurts. I don't think there's some magical age where you stop evolving (and if there is, 30 certainly isn't it) but I find myself feeling really relaxed and welcoming about getting older. Of course that's easy to say when you're 29. Check back with me in 10 years. And you can pry my expensive night cream from my cold and soon to be age-spotted hands.

In addition to some reflecting, I did have some actual fun on my birthday. Greg scooped me up from work and surprised me with lunch at Mockingbird Bistro, one of my favorite restaurants. I thought we were just going to grab a burger, so this was a nice surprise. There were some other surprises too, for my birthday and also for our anniversary on Friday. Greg is so thoughtful and remembered that I recently said I prefer experiences to material things, so now I have a couple of plays to look forward to and reservations at one of the best new restaurants in town.

After finishing my workday, in keeping with some healthy life changes I've made over the past year, I spent the evening doing some yoga then giving myself a pedicure while sipping a single cocktail (a negroni: one of my favorites and conveniently, one I can actually make since it's equal parts everything.) All in all, I had a nice civilized birthday, as one should when they are approaching 30. HAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING. We're blowing the roof off of Big Top Lounge this Saturday. Cheers!

Lazy

I'm so sorry for not posting lately, I just tend to hibernate in the winter so not much has been going on. I'm not sure that's much of an excuse this year since we hardly even had a winter, but whatever, don't pressure me! My evenings have been spent in the kitchen (healthy!) and on the couch watching My Name Is Earl with Greg (not so healthy! But see above re: winter).

The only new addition to my daily routine is that I'm trying a bit of yoga. I've been suffering from some aches and pains so my plan is to work on my flexibility before getting back to strength training. I don't see it being my primary form of exercise but I am enjoying it quite a bit. I don't want to be vain, but working out is doing wonders for my self esteem, hence this dress:

I'm eager to get into cycling once my dad is finished building my bike. Greg rides for miles and miles and I can't wait to join him, especially with this gorgeous weather we're having. It's 79 today...yep, on January 28th. Ok I'm officially talking about the weather too much which means I definitely do not have more to say. I hate that the first entry of the year is so lackluster; I'm enjoying 2013 so far, I've just been a homebody. You guys forgive me right? I'll just wrap this up by showing you some gorgeous chicken I made.

Recipe here. Make it and eat it!