Presenting Bullet Bill

Everyone, I got a new car! Well, new to me. It was finally time to retire my first car as she was looking a little rough and I was ready for some modern conveniences. I feel kind of like I'm cheating on her, but hey I need a radio and, you know...door handles and such. I'm not putting the old girl down of course - she was a great first car, it was just time to move on. At least she'll stay in the family.

I'd been eying the Yaris for awhile and opted to go with the 2010 they had at the dealership because I actually like the body style a bit better better than the new version. You can't tell from this crappy photo but the front is all round and cute, like a bug. The dealership experience was an all-day affair, but I knew what I wanted and ended up getting a great price. I was able to put a decent chunk down, so my payment is really low. Score!

Ain't she a beaut? Or rather, HE! I had thought up all sorts of cute names, like Jellybean and Space Egg, figuring I'd get a blue or silver one, but Greg threw out "Bullet Bill" (like in Mario!) and it stuck. Isn't it perfect? So he gets credit for the name and for keeping me from freaking out all day.

Not only is Bullet Bill stylish, but he's a lot of fun to drive! Well except for my white-knuckled drive home on the freeway in the dark from the dealership...it's time to brush up on my driving skills and this neato car is just the perfect motivation to do that. I've been driving it very gingerly but I think I'm starting to get used to it. I actually enjoyed my commute today. There's a lot of stress inherent in a big purchase, but I gotta say it feels good :)

Crockpot cooking, Mexican style

 Recently I cooked a huge pork tenderloin and the meals it yielded have been so good I just have to share. These aren't recipes per se, just me sharing some recent kitchen experiments. Another disclaimer - my food never photographs well. This is something I considered putting effort into before deciding I was too lazy and apathetic. There are a lot of wonderful food blogs out there and this isn't one of them, but if you're a friend and enjoy reading then that makes me happy!
 
Anyway, some people say that loin is too lean for the crockpot but I disagree. A shoulder would likely be more flavorful, but I've never had an issue with the loin drying out or becoming tough, and it's easy to find in the supermarket. Greg bought a giant one, about 5 pounds! In addition to the two meals below I gave some to my dad and brother and have another portion frozen for some quesadillas or another soup.

I prepared the loin Tex Mex style, with green chilis and tomatoes (Rotel guys, it was Rotel. Who am I kidding), chicken broth and some spices (chili powder, cumin, oregano). I threw all of it in the crockpot, making sure there was enough of the spicy broth to cover the pork and cooked it for about 8 hours before shredding it and tossing a bit more spice onto the shredded pork and mixing it up.

After portioning most of it for freezing, I got to work frying up some corn tortillas in preparation for some pork enchiladas verdes.

The reason I suggest frying the tortillas in oil is that last time I made enchiladas they were sadly a bit mushy. They still tasted great but they ended up more like a casserole...not exactly what I had in mind. I fried them up until they were a bit leathery and layered them in paper towels as I went to absorb excess grease.

I filled the tortillas with pork and cheese (I just used some jack but manchego would be FANTASTIC) and placed them in the pan. At this point I would usually add sauce and cheese to the top, but while researching a remedy for my mushy enchilada problem I came across a wonderful tip: to bake them first, then top them and broil for the last few minutes. That way they're not soaking in the sauce while they bake. After about 15 minutes at 350 the contents inside were all melty, so I pulled them out, dumped some salsa verde and sour cream on top and crumbled queso fresco all over. After a few minutes in the broiler, dinner was served. Don't forget to top with cilantro and a squeeze of fresh lime juice! If you want to get all fancy and make your own salsa verde you will earn some real cred. I need to someday but it's one of those things that should really be done the night before, and I was aiming for a quick weeknight dinner.

Next up, I made some posole!

I had saved and frozen the broth leftover from the crockpot when I initially made the pork and I'm so glad I did. After sauteing some onions and garlic in a pan, I added the broth and a diced poblano that I had just roasted in the oven. I didn't add any fresh green chilis as I was worried it would make it too spicy. I was right - the green chilis already in the broth were more than sufficient. I added the pork, a can of hominy (can't have posole without it), cilantro, lime juice and let it all cook until heated through. I topped with some avocado and crumbled queso freso after dishing it out. I just love cold avocado in a hot soup, and queso freso is ideal for soups since it doesn't really melt. Without bragging, just let me say that it was really, really delicious. The great thing about soup is that you can tweak it and taste it until you get it just right. I didn't follow a recipe and you don't need to either.

I love this kind of cooking and will certainly do more of it over the fall and winter. If you have any great crockpot recipes send them my way!

Weighty Issue

When I was young, I had a metabolism like you wouldn't believe. I simply couldn't gain weight - something that bothered me slightly in my awkward teen years but which I ultimately accepted. Hearing catchphrases like "real women have curves" or seeing women my size being compared to a 13 year old boy still stung quite a bit, but I did my best to not let that stuff affect me. And besides, I felt like I didn't have a right to complain. After all, being rather slim put me in a conventionally attractive category though I was actually technically underweight. I developed a few snappy comebacks for when insensitive people would ask me if I was anorexic, and for the most part didn't spend much time thinking about my weight - a good thing since I quickly learned that very few people will be sympathetic to thin people with body issues not of the eating-disorder variety. Even now I worry about how this blog will be received by people who truly struggle with their weight. I hope it will be taken for what it is, which is my personal experience with how weight is wrapped up with identity, and my attempts to figure out what it means to look and feel the healthiest I can.

Anyway, after about 18 or so I didn't think about my weight at all. I was skinny and assumed I always would be. But then I hit about 25 and something changed. I started to notice some curves I had never really had before and, feeling curious, I stepped on a scale for the first time in years. That's what I discovered I had gained 15 whole pounds without noticing. That's also when I realized it was a bit silly to have thought all my pants just shrank at once. I know, I know, but weight gain was just something I hadn't considered. It wasn't that I was out of touch with my body exactly, but I'd always had a bit of trouble telling how much space I took up. It's strange. If you'd have asked me if I was taller or shorter or bigger or smaller than someone I wouldn't have had a clear answer unless the difference was drastic. Now I was all too aware.

I'm far from overweight, but being stick-thin was part of my identity. It'd be like waking up one day and not being a redhead. I was thrown for a loop, and found myself thrust into a part of the female experience that was completely foreign to me. Discussing calories, and dress sizes and whatnot. I hated it (and still do) because it's so cliche and boring. All the comments - snarky or well-intentioned - about my skinny-ness stopped, and on a bad day it's easy for your brain to run away with what that means. I used to find those comments unwelcome but now I...missed them? I wonder if growing up with my size being an open topic of discussion for everyone helped to make me more sensitive to such matters in the long run.

In a way I'm happier with my looks nowadays. When I compare myself to old pictures I prefer the less wan and boney Jen (though I feel oddly protective of her when someone else says they think I look better now).  But in a way I'm not happier, because thinking about my weight at all is decidedly not the path to happiness for me. So even though I think I look better, I miss the carefree days of slipping into my size 1 jeans and not having to worry about a muffin top. Again, not because I looked better necessarily but because I didn't obsess about how my clothes fit. I didn't have to be aware of the space I filled. Dressing a whole different body was strange at first and not something I expected to be dealing with after puberty. But you know, you adapt. In addition to picking out different clothes, I had to actually start paying attention to what I ate and drank. After a life of ignorant, gluttonous bliss it was annoying but educational.

I put on a handful more pounds after that initial 15, the after-effects of quitting smoking, drinking more than my fair share of beer and getting on the pill, along with just getting older and filling out a bit. I'd learned to embrace those pounds...except for that last handful. Because while I am happy to be curvier, I refuse to accept that slow creep of weight gain as the decades pass and I know that as I head into my 30's it's not going to get any easier. As a result, I started focusing not on weight loss but on getting in shape. I've started exercising 5 days a week and cooking healthy meals at home. These changes were so immediately rewarding on a mental and emotional level that the physical aspect was almost secondary. But, slowly but surely, that handful of pounds I was unhappy with dropped off. Well, most of them at least.

A funny thing happened though when I saw that number on the scale drop. I felt elated. Ugh, how typical.  I keep telling myself that if that number goes up because I get more muscular then that is fine with me. I hope I mean it. It's such an easy thing to obsess over, a metric to measure yourself by. I'm glad to be approaching my 30's having once been made fun of for being too thin, and also having been a bit softer than I'd prefer, because hopefully those experiences will help me keep perspective and remember that how I feel is what really matters. I also know that I have my metabolism and genetics on my side, and that I have it far easier than others. The recent hoopla about Lady Gaga's 20 pound weight gain has strengthened my resolve to think about weight in a healthy, non-obsessive way. Is there really such a small margin between concern-trolling about someone being underweight and then calling them fat? I refuse to apply such harsh standards to others and I refuse to apply them to myself. My goal is simply to be in better shape health-wise in my 30's than in my 20's. I think I'm on my way!

Things I hate!

Presenting, in no particular order, things that make me want off of this planet

Lip injections - You're not a porn star, you're a real estate agent. Stop it. You look ridiculous.

Luxury SUVs -  "I want an SUV....but I want to pay MORE for it!" or alternatively "I'm one of the few people that actually has a practical need for an SUV...but how will people know I'm rich?!"

People who honk at me when I'm taking an unprotected left -  Sure I'll just go straight, instead of to my house, because you're an inpatient dick. Fuck ooooooofff.

White people preaching about racism - Notice i didn't say "talking about" I said "preaching". Absolutely have these important conversations and open up dialogue when you feel someone's comments or behavior are hurtful. But don't try to co-opt minorities' anger as your own. You might think you understand, but you don't. You're from the suburbs.

Undecided voters - If you're reading this you're probably my friend so no i don't actually hate you of course, and i know there's more to politics than social issues. BUT you can't claim to be a pro-choice person who believes in gay marriage rights then vote for Romney. You just can't, I'm sorry. I said so. Just because you may not need an abortion or to get gay-married doesn't mean you don't have an obligation to support the issues you claim to believe in.

People who think feminism is a bad word - At its core, feminism means you believe women should have equal rights to men. No more, no less. Feminism encompasses varying schools of thought and feminists do not fit into one mold (talk to two of us and you may find completely opposing views on prostitution and strip clubs for example) and we especially don't fit the angry "feminazi" stereotype. You know who coined that offensive term? Rush Limbaugh. If you say you believe women are equal but defensively stammer on about how you're not a feminist, I'm going to give you side-eye forever and ever.

Overpriced food - Not to be confused with expensive food. I have no qualms about dropping 100+ dollars on a nice meal, but don't serve me two scallops you asshole. I mean I guess that's technically "scallopS" plural, but you and I both know I just got fucked over.

Overly hoppy beer - Not everything needs to taste like a goddamn bouquet. Where's the maltiness, the balance? You leave a bad taste in my mouth and it makes me sad.

Leaked celebrity nude pics - Or in this case, people that create a market for them. I've seen otherwise progressive, gentlemanly friends of mine go gaga over some starlet's hacked Iphone photos. A woman's naked body is not there for you to look at unless she has given you permission, you entitled butthead! The concepts of privacy and consent don't go out the window just because someone has a job where they're in the public eye.

Margarine -  Eat real butter. Not too much of it, but c'mon. Life is too damn short.

rock and roll lifestyle update

Sorry for not posting for awhile (I'm sure you were all waiting with bated breath...not!) but I just haven't had much to write about. Things are pretty much humming along smoothly and I'm feeling really happy and content lately, but that doesn't always make for exciting reading. I'm on month 2 of Healthmonth and other than my booze rule I'm doing really great. (Not that I'm some drunken party spaz, I just manage to go a couple drinks over - literally a couple - most weeks. Gah, I just love wine. And being social!) I added some more rules centered around things I've been meaning to do for awhile - bring lunch to work a couple days a week, make time to read actual books, floss every day, etc. - and I continue to find the site really helpful for instilling good habits.

I'm feeling in better shape than I have for a long time and even lost a few pounds, though that's probably due to the PLAGUE I had. It was a horrible sore throat that was strep, but wasn't strep, then was maybe mono but not. I'm actually surprised I didn't whine about it here because I was a miserable grouchy mess for over a week. I was on a liquid diet for like 5 days and it was the worst, most painful thing ever.

Other recent highlights in the world of Jen: I got an awesome review at work. I went to my first drive-in movie. I got 3 dresses from Modcloth for 60 bucks. I'm about to start officially shopping around for car. My life is so exciting! That sounds like sarcasm but I promise it's not. Things are pretty damn swell. And they will be even BETTER now that it's not hot as hell outside anymore. You guys, I am so looking forward to Fall, and not just because of the copious amounts of pumpkin ale I'll be imbibing. Ok...a little bit because of that.

More kitchen adventures

I cut my thumb pretty bad the other day you guys. I'm always so careful when using my big chef's knife to chop veggies, but of course I let my guard down while hastily slicing a lemon with a small serrated knife. I felt really stupid. And bloody. So much blood. I'm not very squeamish so I'm pretty sure it was the endorphins that made me feel all faint, forcing me to sit on the kitchen floor and recuperate. So anyway, it was painful and the healing process is annoying but it was almost worth it because it was in pursuit of...

The best pasta salad ever!

BAM! How's that for a segue? Quit thinking about my bloody thumb now! I skipped the lemon juice due to post traumatic stress, but here's what I did put in it.

-Half a bag of rotini (cooked and drained - I didn't have whole wheat but I like to use that whenever possible)
-1 tablespoon dijon mustard (dijonnaise if you have it. I used this stuff which I've been putting on sandwiches and in everything else. Bake some chicken with it! It's sooo good)
-A squeeze of mayo (that's if you didn't use a dijon/mayo hybrid and also it's totally optional if mayo freaks you out)
- 2 tablespoons pesto
-Enough balsamic vinaigrette to make things a little saucy

While that cools, throw the following items in a saute pan with a pinch of salt and some pepper:
-Baby bella mushrooms (chopped)
-Baby spinach
-2 or so cloves of garlic

Add veggie mixture to pasta then toss in some:
-Diced raw zuchinni (gives it some crunch - it's great)
-Finely chopped raw red onion
-Feta
-Freshly grated parmesan
-Some lemon zest
-Red pepper flakes
-Capers if you have them

I didn't have these following items but would definitely recommend them as well:
-Roasted red peppers
-Toasted pine nuts
-Artichokes

The great thing about pasta salad is that you can throw in whatever you want! Definitely chill it for a few hours (I fridged mine overnight) then add in some protein if desired. I baked a chicken breast with lemon pepper and served it warm on top of the cold pasta salad. It'd also be great with shrimp!

Workin' on my fitness

I've been making some lifestyle changes recently and I'm feeling really good! Naturally I want to brag about, er I mean share them. One of the tools I've been using is Healthmonth, a site where you set goals, track your progress and play against your friends. You can play for free or pay 5 bucks a month if you want more than 3 rules. It's in beta and can be a bit buggy, but overall I find it pretty user friendly (others may disagree with me on this). The best part is that quantifying my goals and being held accountable is really helping me stick to them. Its also really nice to get encouragement from your friends and encourage others. I'm not sure how the end-of-the-month game play will shake out but I already plan to play next month. If anyone reading is interested in joining our team, leave a comment or shoot me a note! It's not just for fitness-related goals either. You can set goals to meditate, practice your musical instrument, whatever you want!

So, my goals for August are as follows:

Work out for 20 minutes a day 5 times a week
I'd already been on track for this one (even hitting 6 days some weeks) but I wanted to ingrain the habit and keep from slacking off. So far it's going great. I do mostly calisthenics at home, and a lot of work with a resistance band. Whenever possible I ride my bike - sometimes to count for one of the workouts and sometimes in addition to my regular workout. This will be far easier to do once the weather cools off a bit. I may incorporate a cycling-specific quota into next month's goals. We'll see!  I plan to change things up periodically by incorporating some yoga, increasing the cycling and maybe even doing some (ugh, embarrassing) Zumba. There are some fitness videos on Netflix Instant so I plan to see what they have to offer. My plan is to keep my workouts consistent but changing ever-so-slightly. For example, I added burpees to my home workout yesterday with exhausting results.

I haven't lost any weight, which isn't really my goal anyway (hell I'm even cool with gaining weight as long as I'm fit and toned - if I lose a dress size that's a nice bonus) but I swear my clothes are fitting better and I feel slimmer and more energized. My focus is on changing my body composition - essentially, more muscle, less fat and I think I'm accomplishing that. I've been working out for a couple of months now with quite a bit of strength-training related exercise so I know I've built muscle. Which means that if I weigh the same, I must have lost some fat. Rock on!

Cook dinner at home 5 days a week
This is definitely one I'd be slipping on if I wasn't faced with losing points on the website. Previously, I was cooking 2-3 nights a week and eating out a lot. Prior to moving into our house in February, we were eating out every day! I really enjoying cooking and, while it takes more effort on some days when I'm burned out from work, it's something that simply must be done if I want to spend less and eat healthier. I try to use methods to make some of the days feel low-effort, like firing up the crockpot and doing things like making batches of empanadas to freeze and cook at a later date. As a bonus, meals out now feel like more of a treat.

Drink no more than 10 drinks a week
Up until about 2 years ago I drank however much I wanted, whenever I wanted. I didn't have a "problem" with alcohol more than any other person in their early 20's, but I knew it was too much. I felt groggy, dehydrated, bloated, and depressed from spending perfectly good days hungover on the couch. In the past year I've cut down substantially, first limiting total number of drinks per day  (to 1 or 2 on the weekdays with no rules on the weekends) then cutting out weekday drinking altogether. That latter step really helped break the association I had with getting home from work and cracking open a beer. As a result I feel totally comfortable about my relationship with alcohol - great for my health and my self-esteem.

This 10 a week thing is the first time I've set an actual weekly limit but it's more out of watching calories than watching alcohol intake. I know it isn't the lowest number on earth but hey I'm young and social, and a night out with friends can easily rack up 6 drinks so it's a start. On the plus side I'm now tracking my consumption on the weekends, something I never did before. On the slightly negative side, I've begun to have a couple of drinks during the week to use up my "quota". I'll be tweaking this rule next month - if not formally then at least in my head because I really do like weekday drinking to be off limits aside from occasional social events. I'm also trying to drink less beer and choose wine as a healthier choice but goddamnit I love beer. I really really love beer you guys. A lot of what makes cutting down challenging is that I genuinely believe any meal is improved with a nice glass of wine or beer., not because I'm out to booze it up but because it's delicious! Unfortunately my metabolism and my waistline beg to differ. I don't know if I plan to continue to cut down, but it's likely over time.

So there you have it! My rules are not super challenging (I almost feel silly writing this out when I see how much ass my friends are kicking) but I'm really trying to think of this as a method to instill permanent habits that will add up to an overall lifestyle change, and the best way to do that for me is to start small. I've also been working on some dietary changes in a non-structured way, like eating less bread and pasta and incorporating more fresh veggies and fruit. I refuse to "diet" (my doctor specifically told me not to since I'm at a healthy weight and BMI) and I eat pretty healthy already (no sweets or mindless snacking to speak of) but loading up on protein and produce while cutting out refined flour and sugar is a healthy change that anyone should consider. One non-health related thing I've been doing for awhile now is tracking my budget with Mint.com. To be honest I always go over my budget (hm...maybe I should look into that) but just the fact that I'm tracking it is making me spend less than before. That plus the health stuff adds up to a happier, less stressed Jen. I feel more in control of my life than I have in a long time. My mood is better, my relationships are better and my chronic stomach issues have even drastically improved recently. I really hope I can stick with all of this. Feel free to comment with what works for you!